your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
