Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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