Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
