whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize