Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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