So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
