You're completely useless in the revolution.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
