Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
