Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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