I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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