i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
