big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
