new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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