I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
