Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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