I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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