Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
