dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
