she looked like the bat from fern gully.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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