you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
