Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
ttyl tear gas
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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