did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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