i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
