Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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