He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize