Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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