piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize