My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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