He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
