Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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