Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
