I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize