To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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