I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
