is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize