oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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