I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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