I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
