it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
