Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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