Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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