I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
