Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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