Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
