Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
