it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize