those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
