he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am one with the molecules
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
