Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
