I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
