New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize