'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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