i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I love how my cats smell like pot.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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