i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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