Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
