So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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