im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
