Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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