I'd wear matching sweaters with you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
