she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
