What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize