He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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