Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry icy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.

Fav 27 1053 1716
share tweet
(806): View more from Texas

my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.

Fav 33 3124 921
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me

Fav 18 947 4310
share tweet
(250): View more from British Columbia

Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,

Fav 22 1148 4556
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.

Fav 20 5875 1428
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

I wonder if you can snort coke upside down

Fav 20 1669 3263
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.

Fav 16 3208 1871
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.

Fav 2 1005 473
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...

Fav 0 26 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT