I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
