Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
