have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize