we're blogging at a bar
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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