found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
