Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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