If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My dick has a subreddit
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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